The Big Guns

from Utility End by How Scandinavian

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about

A song that has been sitting in the pile for over ten years, it was initially written and demoed in early 2010 before Smiles Without Mirth was released. The original demo, which you can hear as a bonus track, dealt more directly with themes of not being able to have the right chances, looks, words, and schedule to get those pretty girls. Of course, I don't think that's entirely un-true in life, but perhaps a bit overdone. With a decade of living since those days, I figured it would be best to update the song's perspective to cover the realization that one's fantasy of a perfect story is merely just that.

lyrics

Made fun of me for being your friend, again
not like those words had any weight left in them
and I remember
time passes and I guess I never knew you
in any real way

the big, wide and empty
it simply persists
the feeling that you are right

once this story is told
nothing stops it from growing more old
hoarding a treasure
a trove of words never said

no need to bother now
standing here, it just appears all too clear

whatever helps you sleep at night
holding onto those days a little bit too tight
whatever helps you sleep at night
holding on a little bit too
much, tight
I don't know what I want

I'd like to ask you for a favor
to let my words rise to the occasion
because any weight to them
might seem a little strange
something too heavy to believe

but I found out
what I saw in all of them
Isn't what I remembered either way

si mi boca se quivoca
a favor de quien estas
a favor de quien estas

So I leave it all behind
To see what altars truly stay
it's a one sided affair, but it's oh so sincere
maybe it's better to just pack it up my friend

What a fool I've been
Stayed too long in time
Of passing through
But I've gotta move on
Got to get out of my own way

whatever helps you sleep at night
holding onto those days a little bit too tight
whatever helps you sleep at night
i just know for a fact it isn't me

credits

from Utility End, released March 11, 2021
Instruments, Vocals - Bryan Santizo

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about

How Scandinavian Palmdale, California

Alias of Bryan Santizo, founded in 2008.

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